My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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