I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
