just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I cut my penus on the lid.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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