I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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