did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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