he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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