I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
