you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
