I need help removing her.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
