if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
