He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
