he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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