my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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