it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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