Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
