so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Found the puke drawer
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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