How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
