that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
