i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
