No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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