Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
