i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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