jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
A+ Viking dick
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
