I hate all girls vehemently.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize