My sheets look like a crime scene.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you never un-have a 4some
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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