Sponge bath it is.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No more Irish car bombs ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
