Michael Bay diarrhea
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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