whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
