She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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