What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
