Sponge bath it is.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize