If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
