2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
