Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The beers last night were like the tears from god
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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