Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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