hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
