It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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