I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
