He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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