TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
