just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
