Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
