I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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