Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize