Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
