There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
