It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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