I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
