I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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