Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
