Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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