Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
we should paint friendship bongs
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
