He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
