It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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