he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
