Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
