Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
