The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
NoShamevember. You game?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize