Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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