I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
