im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
