i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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