Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
