you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
