forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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