The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
