I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize